Demolition Confirmed.

What happened while I was happy to be back and suddenly disappear again? Probably something massive since I was so lovely jubbly...

   Let's start. Nearly all of my friends know the fact that I have to be in Poland right now, which I'm not. So, it's because of some family-related problems.

When I was there at the visa appointment, something suddenly came up, which was predictable but also not. It was about the sign of notary on one of my father's document and without it, I was neither able to count on his papers nor his bank account. It was the crucial point because since I was not able to provide his bank account I had to show another accountable thing, just in an hour, otherwise, everything was going to screw up. Therefore, I thought I could show my bank account and called mom to help me out but my father was out of town... So, I ended up calling my cousin, who was in charge of managing all of his business accounts. By the way, my dad and uncle work together. That's why she has all the information.

All I needed, a small amount of money, which was like the hair of a camel, on the other hand, I was able to see how much money he had on his account because I needed that for the visa regulations, too. But, guess what happened... She said that she didn't have the money, even though I told her to use my dad's bank account, which she refused to do. Let me tell you another thing, my father doesn't even know his debit/credit cards' passwords but my cousin does. What an asshole, right?

As a conclusion, everything fucked up... Crying in the middle of a street or on a random bus. Canceling all the tickets, plans, rescheduling another appointment. Mailing and letting everyone to know about cancellation for them to fix things. I was known as a strong girl and a lilandra. It was the time that I fell! The worst part was when you knew you had nothing to do because If you would, you would do your best to make that happen. I was collapsed. I was wrecked.

You know the last point when you can't digest a thing more, and you kneel... I just felt angry at them, hatred and also disappointment towards people whom I had trusted on. Not any longer, fellas! I went out each day not to see my cousin or uncle or their family at all... I met new people each day to forget what I've lived and I was, honestly scared to face with it until now. What has changed now to make me speak up? Well, now I have to renew all the documents and get new tickets. I have to go through all these things again and, stay strong while doing these.

I was down, I was down... Could not stop to cry, never been able to forget or let it go but instead, I've decided to be back to my incredible life,, stand up and, have my back just by myself. I'm getting my resiliency back as a Kurdish badass girl hahaha. Sometimes, it's Deux un Machine ( God's hand ) or just a bitch's hand. I don't know whatever it was but I've realized that I had to fall first to stand up better and look after my ass.

Don't know what's waiting for me at the next meeting. Hey, there wish me luck for this time and don't worry about because I have got the help... Thanks for reading and I'll keep you updated, goodbye for now :))